Sometime back of this, maybe in 2015 or early 2016, I began being unable to talk myself out of being worried about the world that I live in, the world my sons live in, the world my granddaughters live in. Cliché as it is to say, these are troubling times. We somehow learn to live with the worry.
So I began writing some lyrics. I don’t do that well keeping up with the scraps of paper on which my lyrics often begin, so I can’t remember now which set of words came first. But I’m fairly certain that Psalm 46:10 followed quickly on the heels of the song’s first “worried.”
In the summer of 2016, Leesa and I were in the Czech Republic, and we were each assigned–along with the rest of our group–to come up with a piece of scripture that was particularly important to us. Leesa immediately went to the verse in Psalm before we realized that our assignment specified that we select from the New Testament. But during that moment when Psalm 46:10 was her choice, I played her the snippet I had of this song, then untitled.
Since then? Well, a lot has happened to the world since last summer. During the winter, I pulled out the lyric again and began working on it. I also began working on some rather sparse music music that would stay out of the way of the lyric.
So, here’s the lyric:
Complaints
I toss and turn in the dark of night
Then I’m up and turning on the light
I’m worried – O Lord, I’m worried
Why do I hurt and struggle with pain?
Why can’t I shake grief out of my brain?
Why are this body and this mind so frail?No answer comes from the thundering whirlwind
Or from a burning bush kindled by a lightning strike
But from a still, small voice that says to me,
“Be still, and know that I am God.”I fuss and fret about the Great Unknown
I spend these dangerous days afraid and alone
I’m worried – O Lord, I’m worried
Where is the next monster with a gun?
Where will I hide? Where will I run?
Where will I land if I’m blown to kingdom come?No answer comes from a thundering whirlwind
Or from a burning bush kindled by a lightning strike
But from a still, small voice that says to me,
“Be still, and know that I am God.”When sleep doesn’t come easy
When the floor creaks in the hall
When the kitchen glows in laptop light
And the clock ticks on the wallAnd when my heart feels heavy
When I breathe only in sighs
When my dreams wake to suspicions
That my truths might just be liesNo answer comes from the thundering whirlwind
Or from a burning bush kindled by a lightning strike
But from a still, small voice that says to me,
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
I made a little video one night when I was home alone. I’m lit by “laptop light” with the lyric onscreen. I never watch Fox News, but because I blame that organization for a lot of the anxiety people feel these days, I decided to have it playing silently in the background. Completely unplanned, Henry Sanchez, the alleged rapist from Rockville High School, appeared on the screen just when I was singing about “the next monster.” My iPhone filmed the whole thing.
Here’s the simple video:
Peace!